But, I will.

sen·ior

 - a student in the final year at a high school, preparatory school, college, or university.

Wait, what?

That's not me?

It is?

Whoa, wait a minute?

Where did the time go?

Yes, Taylor, that is you. whether you believe it or not, it is. This is your graduating year, your last year to attend East Surry High School. Your last football games, basketball games, baseball games. Your last 1st semester, last 2nd semester, last first day of school,

Last Everything.

I remember walking into the doors of East Surry, my first day as a Freshman. (ew, freshmen.)

I was probably wearing some sort of tight graphic t-shirt that i thought was fashionable and some short shorts. you know, the freshman look, trying to show off all your brands. I watched the people from the grades above and thought, "they are so cool" and I am only a freshman. What I would have done to be a Senior, Junior or even Sophomore; ANYTHING but fresh-meat.

And of course I had the mentality of "you were a freshman once, give us a break" 

I was right. they once were freshman and so was I. Yes its sometimes even hard for me to believe that I was a freshman, not my proudest moment, but you have to start somewhere right?

All the pretty Senior girls were SO cool, and SO pretty.

It was totally unfair. All of us freshman, we knew their names, but they didn't know ours.

Now I'm the Senior, I'm the one who doesn't know over 10 of the freshmens' names. I see people I have never seen before everyday; and just like my Seniors (the ones that were seniors when I was a freshman), I don't care, I'm absorbed into my senior world of Senior privileges and rituals, of "last times" and living it up while we're young, and making the memories that consist of "the best years of your life" (yeah right). 

and guess what?

 I AM LOVING IT

every single second of it.

Yeah that's right I'm the top dog, a Senior, THE Senior.

I can sit here and tell you:

"I'm so ready to graduate" 

"I hate this place" 

"I want to leave"

"Ha, the best years of your life? Yeah right" 

Well about 2 of those statements are true, I AM ready to leave and I DO hate this place, and not just a small hate, an Immense and Atrocious  hate that reminds you every moment how much you want to get away and never come back.

but i am NOT ready to graduate.

Graduation?

I'm walking across that stage?

I'm wearing a cap and gown? 

Seriously? 

Yes, seriously. 

Pretty soon we will be getting our caps, gowns and tassels and I will be wracking my brain to find the most perfect dress for the most perfect day that will end up being covered up by an ugly gown and I will stress about my hair that will get matted down by the cap and I will get smacked in the face by my tassel, and I will trip but most of all i WILL cry.

i will cry so hard.

That all-consuming cry with tears of joy, sadness, freedom and reality.

I will cry before, during and after graduation, yes, I know will.

and I WILL choke on all the words I said about wanting to leave so bad, and I will wish I did things differently, and I will miss East Surry, even though it pains me deeply to say that now.

but I will.

I will have a lot of "told you so's" from my parents, family members, and my friends that are graduates about wishing my high school years away, but most of all I will look back and think some day:

Those were the best days.

I have made amazing memories and friends here.

Some that I will and some that I wont tell my children.

And I honestly can't deny that I have had a blast this past year.

I don't want it to end.

My life is about to change so drastically and I don't even realize it.

I sit here and say this to you so emotionally, yet I still live each day like I have one more year at East Surry simply because I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that in a total of 5 months its over.

But in reality what is over?

Its only a unfamiliar and broad beginning.

Look out world, here I come.

Shout out to the Senior Class of 2013.

If we can make it through hell, we can make it through anything.