"i will trust and not be afraid"

Do you know how it feels when you heart tells you one thing and your mind tells you another?

its a constant tug between the two aspects. 

its like an uphill battle, you keep trying to fight, but when you fall down you roll down the hill, even farther than you were  before.

when you get hit, you get hit hard.

and its that kind of thing that tear people apart, and tear people down.

all the threads that i thought would hold me together are slowly unraveling.

there is one difference between me and many others with the same problem.

I turn to God.

and thats the one thing that keeps me together;

that is the one thread that hasn't unraveled;

the one thread that hasn't broken.

Through it all, one person has been on my side.

God.

He works wonders, and makes miracles happen;

and his mercy is so amazing, 

He doesnt discriminate between color, race, popularity, money, nothing.

He loves us all, e v e r y single one of us, unconditionally.

and He has never once failed to be here for e v e r y one of us.

Here lately i feel like i can never do anything right, like i keep fighting for what i want or need and it just completely backfires on me.

i feel like i put so much into things and the crumble right in front of my face; 

every time..

and im getting worn down from it, im starting to loose interest in everything i do. Im waiting and putting myself behind everyone, im just waiting around for some miracle to happen; 

im tired of trying

im tired of loosing everything

im tired of getting built up to just be broke down

im tired of wasting my time

im tired of waiting..

and i feel like i cant do it anymore 

and everything that once mattered so much to me just seems useless.

through it all, i have God and need to see that.

"Surely God is my salvation; i will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."

Isaiah 12:2-3

Goodnight, Godbless.<3